How to spot a homo

The infamous 1960s’ newspaper article of that title included “wearing suede shoes” and “walking leaning backwards at an angle of 95’ to the ground”, but some 19th century psychotherapists had different ideas:

Havelock Ellis “They cannot whistle or spit”

Magnus Hirschfield “If you throw something into the lap of a seated male homosexual, he will open his legs to catch it” (you can have 3 guesses at what a lesbian will do)

Ambroise Tardieu “They cannot urinate in a straight line as they have a corkscrew shaped penis” (so useful when the bottle opener’s gone missing)