The Word according to Gloria

The Bible has been translated into Polari. To give you a sample, here’s Genesis Chapter 1

In the beginning Gloria created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was nanti form, and void; and munge was upon the eke of the deep. And the fairy of Gloria trolled upon the eke of the aquas.

And Gloria cackled, Let there be sparkle: and there was sparkle. And Gloria vardad the sparkle, that it was bona.

Here’s a bit of “Matilda” Chapter 9

And Josie knowing their thoughts cackled, Wherefore think ye nana in your thumping cheats? For whether is easier, to cackle, Thy kertervers be forgiven thee; or to cackle, Arise, and mince?

But that ye may know that the homie chavvie of homie hath power on earth to forgive kertervers.

Then saith she to the sick of the palsy, Arise, lell up thy bed, and troll unto thine lattie. And she arose, and trolled off to his lattie.